Has Our Fight for equality fucked us up?

Ashlee Rose

Antipodean, REIN sales rep, PR guru and blogger.




 Through our feminist ploys spanning 100s of years of repression it would seem that women have taken on masculinity in a way that no longer connects us with our true meaning and purpose.  

As women we need to understand our difference, our sensitivity our vulnerability. But instead of repressing these qualities we need to bring them to the fight. We need to prove that our power and abilities are worthy of acceptance in the same way people who love the same sex have had to fight for their acceptance. They haven't changed their inherent make up but stood proud in who they are and asked the world to recognise. Now it's time for women to stand up for femininity and prove that it has an equally important place in the world.

Women who fly the feminist flag should no longer take on masculine traits as a way of being recognised as equal because it only suppresses our ability to contribute to the world in a new, unique and different way. I want to be valued in the workplace because of my vulnerability and sensitivity; My right brain thinking my creativity because that's what I can bring. 

We are notoriously different in everything we feel. We can never be the same as men so let's stop trying. Don't get me wrong some men will have more femininity while some women are more geared towards masculinity but lets stop defining equality by our ability to respond in the same way. "I can do everything a man can do" is bullshit it's just not true but it shouldn't and doesn't mean that we can't strive for equal acceptance. 

Let's accept what men want from us and expect men to deliver what we want from them. Them wanting to be our heroes isn't dominating or sexist its the reality of what makes us different. Let's stop thinking about vulnerability and sensitivity as negative emotional traits and start seeing how these can and do contribute just as significantly to the world as the masculine traits. Let's accept and embrace our difference and realise that we can and do contribute in an equally important way to the world. Even if watching weddings on TV make us a blubbering mess or that it's one of the hardest things to do returning to work after 12 months of maternity leave or if your decision making in a work place comes from an emotional or creative place. 

If a woman doesn't respond in the same way or chooses not to have kids or  makes life choices that are different to your own paths let's support them and back them not find ways to bring them down. Let's stop trying to be someone or something different and just embrace those who are.

Look at the way we as women as self proclaimed feminists talk about, critique or bring down other women. How saying an awful comment has become easier than using our sensitivity and caring nature to check in on someone going through a rough patch or how it's easier to  throw nasty comments about; 'Being way to over dressed for school pickup' rather than saying wow she looks beautiful today.

Striving for equality, by taking on masculinity, has skewered femininity in a way that has turned positive masculine traits, such as competitiveness, into not-so-nice traits in women, like bitchiness. Instead of being competitive against one another in a way that's counter productive let's just embrace our caring, kind and sensitive make up and respond to one another in a way that embraces and supports our sensuality and femininity.  Let's just embrace femininity and back ourselves!


Ashlee Rose lives and works between Auckland, New Zealand and Perth, Australia. An avid traveller (She's been to Antarctica!), PR guru (specialising in events such as Australian Warrior Dash, Regional arts and cultural festivals), enjoys the odd lively feminist twitter debate and is currently our very own REIN sales rep for Aus/New Zealand (Lucky us!).

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